The Trial Of The Century.. Before the Next Trial Of The Century
Welcome once again to the Rabid Cheese Monkey's Weekly Mad Rant... We are going live up into the tree the Rabid Cheese Monkey calls home. As we enter we see him... OH MY GOD! What is he doing?!!
Hey?! What the fuck?! Can't you see I am fucking this chick?! Oh shit! That's right... Time for you people I call my fans to hear my shit... and whoever hates me, fuck you.. I don't fucking care about you haters....
Ok... I suppose by now everybody and their momma has heard of the "Trial of the century".. that being... Well, fuck... how many have we had so far??? First it was OJ "Finding the Real Killer" Simpson, then it was that fertilizer salesman Scott "Shit Selling Playboy" Peterson, then that fucking actor.. fuck me if I know him or what his name is.. NOW its Michael "Plastic" Jackson... My fucking God, how many dumb ass trials have there been so far that the media has hyped up and bascally made a big stink about and shoved down our throats??!
Its not the verdicts or whether or not these people are guilty or innocent, what jacks my ass is THE AMOUNT OF ATTENTION THESE RETARDED SPECTACLES GET WHEN ULTIMATELY THEY AMOUNT TO SHIT!!! I am just sick of it! Its like everybody wants to see some trial of some celebrity or some sadistic shit salesman.. I take it back... NOBODY REALLY GIVES A SHIT ABOUT THESE TRIALS AND THE ONES THAT DO CARE NEED TO GET A FUCKING LIFE!!! I don't care that Michael Jackson is on trial or what the fuck is going on there... I don't care that Scott "Shit Salesman, Eater, and Head" Peterson is going to death row for killing his wife and baby... I don't care about OJ Simpson's deal, although that was a long ass time ago... basically and I will put it in big letters so you stupider than retarded individuals can get a good understanding - I DON'T GIVE TWO SHITS AND A FUCK ABOUT TRIALS AND ANYTHING RELATED TO THEM, CELEBRITY OR OTHERWISE!!!!
Ok, let me start with ancient history with the OJ Simpson Trial. For starters, that trial was a clusterfuck from the beginning. I, to this date, have no opinion about whether or not OJ did it. If he was guilty, he would have had to time that murder to the second. Now, it strikes me that OJ cannot time an egg much less something as complex as a murder. Now if he was innocent, what was up with that "High Speed" chase that a snail could outrun? Regardless, we will never know. Why? Simply put, justice was NOT served. Not because OJ was acquitted. No, because his three lawyers from hell (Johnny Cockman, Robert Shapenis, and F Me Bailey) did the most lowdown thing they could do - TRY TO INCITE ANOTHER LA RIOT IF OJ WAS FOUND GUILTY!!!! They played the Race Card almost immediately and it just basically compromised the trial from the get go. Instead of trying to prove OJ didn't do it alone, they began stirring up people with that fucking "No Justice No Peace" shit almost all through the trial. Of course they HAD to have it in LA, where not long before it they had a riot. If I was the president at that time, I would have imposed Marshal Law throughout the trial and held OJ's "Satanic Dream Team" responsible if anything happened if the trial didn't go the way they wanted. At any rate, regardless of OJ's guilt or innocence, justice was not served.
Sooo.. that was the "Trial of the Century" for the 20th century... forget the Nazi trials and historical shit.. OJ is more important than that shit... OJ, who has the historical relevance of my shit, is SOOO much more important than all the other bad things that have happened before it. But now, here it is 2005 and ALREADY we have ANOTHER "Trial of the Century"?!!! Those being that Robert Blake, Scott Peterson, and Michael Jackson??? Ok, the Robert Blake one, I will make it short - Nobody gave a fuck about it because he was small potatoes.. and the verdict was the same : Nobody gave a fuck.
But let me bite my rabies into the whole Scott "Peter"son deal. Let me give ya a background in case you've lived in a cave the last few decades with a rock on your head or just got out of a coma (mad props to Jeanna Giese for surviving rabies... now if they could cure me.. no fuck that, I LOVE RABIES AND INSANITY! ...and cheese) - sometime like a few years ago, Scott Petereaterson said that his wife went missing while he went fishing. So, a massive search began. well they found her and the baby dead on some shore. So, Scott Peterlickerson got arrested and he had his trial. Now, I should mention, Scotty sold fertilizer (aka shit) and was fucking around on Lacy with this lady that just screams "Fuck me, I am a hooker"... well I guess selling shit works for you Scott.. but the jury and judge didn't buy your shit and now you are going to get raped where you shit till California decides to kill you... that being a billion years from now after the Great Ape Council puts you to death so Darth Vader can finally use his brand new TiVo Luke gave him for Christmas (Now called "Spend Yourself to Debt Day" since the ACLU said all holidays had to be renamed for the hell of it).
Anyways.. all through this clusterfuck I couldn't escape hearing about this shit. The guy sold shit and acted like he was smoking some weird shit. I seriously cannot believe this got one billionth of the attention that it did. Ok, it was sad that Lacy and the baby died... but this shit happens all over America and I don't see it plastered all over... He fucked some lady? So what.. again, this shit happens everywhere.. He tricked the public? Ok, again so what.. why did it even get dragged into the public? Oh I know why.. because its California and this happened in an "Average" (read - Wealthy) community. Guess if you have money, that makes it worth the shit.. NO IT DON'T, IT STILL MEANS SHIT!!! No matter how you look at it, there really isn't anything significant about this whole Scotty the Shit Sailor Man that made it worth all the fucking shit that was thrown on us. I do find it funny though how these 2 families are tearing at each other, like its some kind of Royal Rumble... and proving that when it comes to tragedy everybody should profit except the actual victim. Lacy and her baby can rest in peace knowing that her family and Scott's family will make money off their deaths... AND IF I GET IN THE SAME ROOM WITH THESE RETARDED [Swear-A-Thon©] (... yes I am lazy...) FUCKERS, I AM GOING TO BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF ALL OF THEM AND GIVE THEM DICK AND HAND WELTS ALL OVER ALONG WITH MY RABIES!!!!!!!!!! Hope you retarded fucks live in the lap of luxury and then one day wake up and realize your stupidity..... then fall off the lap and into the toilet luxury was taking a shit in.
Now for Michael Jackoffson... Ok, I said earlier I won't comment on whether or not he is guilty or innocent, and I plan on keeping my word... but what I am pissed about is how this has been nothing more than a huge publicity stunt for Michael since day one! Nobody seems to care that this is about whether he is a child molester or not.. it has been about Ol' MJ and his stupid little stunts he does on a daily basis because all the plastic he has on gives him a buzz 24/7. I DON'T GIVE A FUCK, RATS ASS, AND 3 SHITS WHO,WHAT, WHEN, WHERE, WHY, AND HOW ABOUT MICHAEL JACKSON AND/OR HIS ACTS HE PULLS FOR ATTENTION!!!! The guy is no longer the "King of Pop", he is now the "King of Wash Outs" and whether or not he is found guilty, his next album will be a bomb. This attention he is getting is HURTING NOT HELPING him. I wish the media would stop the "We are now seeing Michael Jackson going into the bathroom to take a shit" shit... There are more important things in this world than him. Besides, I think he shits Legos...
So to wrap this joint up and smoke it... These "publicized" trials in the grand scheme of things don't amount to shit. There are more important things than shit like that. Talk about the war in Iraq, about the economy, about the environment, hell even about the weather... Just don't waste my time about these courtroom spectacles and let justice be done the old fashioned way - by a jury and judge.
Now get the fuck out of my tree and let me finish fucking this chick before my drugs wear off!!!
And now onto Lee with sports scores....
Hey?! What the fuck?! Can't you see I am fucking this chick?! Oh shit! That's right... Time for you people I call my fans to hear my shit... and whoever hates me, fuck you.. I don't fucking care about you haters....
Ok... I suppose by now everybody and their momma has heard of the "Trial of the century".. that being... Well, fuck... how many have we had so far??? First it was OJ "Finding the Real Killer" Simpson, then it was that fertilizer salesman Scott "Shit Selling Playboy" Peterson, then that fucking actor.. fuck me if I know him or what his name is.. NOW its Michael "Plastic" Jackson... My fucking God, how many dumb ass trials have there been so far that the media has hyped up and bascally made a big stink about and shoved down our throats??!
Its not the verdicts or whether or not these people are guilty or innocent, what jacks my ass is THE AMOUNT OF ATTENTION THESE RETARDED SPECTACLES GET WHEN ULTIMATELY THEY AMOUNT TO SHIT!!! I am just sick of it! Its like everybody wants to see some trial of some celebrity or some sadistic shit salesman.. I take it back... NOBODY REALLY GIVES A SHIT ABOUT THESE TRIALS AND THE ONES THAT DO CARE NEED TO GET A FUCKING LIFE!!! I don't care that Michael Jackson is on trial or what the fuck is going on there... I don't care that Scott "Shit Salesman, Eater, and Head" Peterson is going to death row for killing his wife and baby... I don't care about OJ Simpson's deal, although that was a long ass time ago... basically and I will put it in big letters so you stupider than retarded individuals can get a good understanding - I DON'T GIVE TWO SHITS AND A FUCK ABOUT TRIALS AND ANYTHING RELATED TO THEM, CELEBRITY OR OTHERWISE!!!!
Ok, let me start with ancient history with the OJ Simpson Trial. For starters, that trial was a clusterfuck from the beginning. I, to this date, have no opinion about whether or not OJ did it. If he was guilty, he would have had to time that murder to the second. Now, it strikes me that OJ cannot time an egg much less something as complex as a murder. Now if he was innocent, what was up with that "High Speed" chase that a snail could outrun? Regardless, we will never know. Why? Simply put, justice was NOT served. Not because OJ was acquitted. No, because his three lawyers from hell (Johnny Cockman, Robert Shapenis, and F Me Bailey) did the most lowdown thing they could do - TRY TO INCITE ANOTHER LA RIOT IF OJ WAS FOUND GUILTY!!!! They played the Race Card almost immediately and it just basically compromised the trial from the get go. Instead of trying to prove OJ didn't do it alone, they began stirring up people with that fucking "No Justice No Peace" shit almost all through the trial. Of course they HAD to have it in LA, where not long before it they had a riot. If I was the president at that time, I would have imposed Marshal Law throughout the trial and held OJ's "Satanic Dream Team" responsible if anything happened if the trial didn't go the way they wanted. At any rate, regardless of OJ's guilt or innocence, justice was not served.
Sooo.. that was the "Trial of the Century" for the 20th century... forget the Nazi trials and historical shit.. OJ is more important than that shit... OJ, who has the historical relevance of my shit, is SOOO much more important than all the other bad things that have happened before it. But now, here it is 2005 and ALREADY we have ANOTHER "Trial of the Century"?!!! Those being that Robert Blake, Scott Peterson, and Michael Jackson??? Ok, the Robert Blake one, I will make it short - Nobody gave a fuck about it because he was small potatoes.. and the verdict was the same : Nobody gave a fuck.
But let me bite my rabies into the whole Scott "Peter"son deal. Let me give ya a background in case you've lived in a cave the last few decades with a rock on your head or just got out of a coma (mad props to Jeanna Giese for surviving rabies... now if they could cure me.. no fuck that, I LOVE RABIES AND INSANITY! ...and cheese) - sometime like a few years ago, Scott Petereaterson said that his wife went missing while he went fishing. So, a massive search began. well they found her and the baby dead on some shore. So, Scott Peterlickerson got arrested and he had his trial. Now, I should mention, Scotty sold fertilizer (aka shit) and was fucking around on Lacy with this lady that just screams "Fuck me, I am a hooker"... well I guess selling shit works for you Scott.. but the jury and judge didn't buy your shit and now you are going to get raped where you shit till California decides to kill you... that being a billion years from now after the Great Ape Council puts you to death so Darth Vader can finally use his brand new TiVo Luke gave him for Christmas (Now called "Spend Yourself to Debt Day" since the ACLU said all holidays had to be renamed for the hell of it).
Anyways.. all through this clusterfuck I couldn't escape hearing about this shit. The guy sold shit and acted like he was smoking some weird shit. I seriously cannot believe this got one billionth of the attention that it did. Ok, it was sad that Lacy and the baby died... but this shit happens all over America and I don't see it plastered all over... He fucked some lady? So what.. again, this shit happens everywhere.. He tricked the public? Ok, again so what.. why did it even get dragged into the public? Oh I know why.. because its California and this happened in an "Average" (read - Wealthy) community. Guess if you have money, that makes it worth the shit.. NO IT DON'T, IT STILL MEANS SHIT!!! No matter how you look at it, there really isn't anything significant about this whole Scotty the Shit Sailor Man that made it worth all the fucking shit that was thrown on us. I do find it funny though how these 2 families are tearing at each other, like its some kind of Royal Rumble... and proving that when it comes to tragedy everybody should profit except the actual victim. Lacy and her baby can rest in peace knowing that her family and Scott's family will make money off their deaths... AND IF I GET IN THE SAME ROOM WITH THESE RETARDED [Swear-A-Thon©] (... yes I am lazy...) FUCKERS, I AM GOING TO BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF ALL OF THEM AND GIVE THEM DICK AND HAND WELTS ALL OVER ALONG WITH MY RABIES!!!!!!!!!! Hope you retarded fucks live in the lap of luxury and then one day wake up and realize your stupidity..... then fall off the lap and into the toilet luxury was taking a shit in.
Now for Michael Jackoffson... Ok, I said earlier I won't comment on whether or not he is guilty or innocent, and I plan on keeping my word... but what I am pissed about is how this has been nothing more than a huge publicity stunt for Michael since day one! Nobody seems to care that this is about whether he is a child molester or not.. it has been about Ol' MJ and his stupid little stunts he does on a daily basis because all the plastic he has on gives him a buzz 24/7. I DON'T GIVE A FUCK, RATS ASS, AND 3 SHITS WHO,WHAT, WHEN, WHERE, WHY, AND HOW ABOUT MICHAEL JACKSON AND/OR HIS ACTS HE PULLS FOR ATTENTION!!!! The guy is no longer the "King of Pop", he is now the "King of Wash Outs" and whether or not he is found guilty, his next album will be a bomb. This attention he is getting is HURTING NOT HELPING him. I wish the media would stop the "We are now seeing Michael Jackson going into the bathroom to take a shit" shit... There are more important things in this world than him. Besides, I think he shits Legos...
So to wrap this joint up and smoke it... These "publicized" trials in the grand scheme of things don't amount to shit. There are more important things than shit like that. Talk about the war in Iraq, about the economy, about the environment, hell even about the weather... Just don't waste my time about these courtroom spectacles and let justice be done the old fashioned way - by a jury and judge.
Now get the fuck out of my tree and let me finish fucking this chick before my drugs wear off!!!
And now onto Lee with sports scores....
posted by Rabid Cheese Monkey at 4:55 PM
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